tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25185459198336837462024-03-05T04:47:30.139-08:00barbara june isaac;juuune;http://www.blogger.com/profile/16074164109686488954noreply@blogger.comBlogger36125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2518545919833683746.post-69351021488680081482012-11-19T00:32:00.000-08:002012-11-19T00:40:12.655-08:00<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7pvKDPU1ocsUjAectWYyTHangoNFNhGqEgq1VLVnuLYuHLepAxZGafn36Ql0y4Gk0gikRGxdJDQzZxtw41TfpN8s1V4Yzk1wUJD5m7HnZ18Rp2wcrUCsFfxKZUSCqooefEVPbYXMl7nM/s1600/short+hair1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7pvKDPU1ocsUjAectWYyTHangoNFNhGqEgq1VLVnuLYuHLepAxZGafn36Ql0y4Gk0gikRGxdJDQzZxtw41TfpN8s1V4Yzk1wUJD5m7HnZ18Rp2wcrUCsFfxKZUSCqooefEVPbYXMl7nM/s320/short+hair1.jpg" width="213" /></a> <span style="font-size: x-large;">CU<span style="font-size: x-large;">T <span style="font-size: x-large;">MY HAIR.<br /><br /><span style="font-size: x-large;">MY LONG LONG HAIR.</span></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-size: x-large;"><br />YES I D<span style="font-size: x-large;">ID. </span></span></span></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-size: x-large;">HERE IS PRO<span style="font-size: x-large;">OF.</span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-size: small;">Hmm, <span style="font-size: small;">I need life! <span style="font-size: small;">A<span style="font-size: small;">h, <i><b>Im just so bor</b></i><span style="font-size: small;"><i><b>ed</b></i> with everything I want <span style="font-size: small;">to have adventures like I<span style="font-size: small;"> did in high school. <span style="font-size: small;"> All my friends were so fun and awesome..not that they ar<span style="font-size: small;">en't here at <span style="font-size: small;">Vanguard.<span style="font-size: small;">..<span style="font-size: small;">I need to have crazy wild f<span style="font-size: small;">un<span style="font-size: small;"> nights. That doe<span style="font-size: small;">s<span style="font-size: small;">n't <span style="font-size: small;">have to include drinking or doing anything stu<span style="font-size: small;">pid. <span style="font-size: small;">J<span style="font-size: small;">ust something exciting. That<span style="font-size: small;">s what college i<span style="font-size: small;">s suppose to be right<span style="font-size: small;">? T<span style="font-size: small;">his is me on my bed in more dorm room after woofest. <span style="font-size: small;">Its 2012 and<span style="font-size: small;"> I feel bor<span style="font-size: small;">ed. I want to go on break to go back home wi<span style="font-size: small;">th my <span style="font-size: small;">best friends like<span style="color: purple;"> <b>Aixa</b></span> and <b><span style="color: #0b5394;">Alys</span></b><span style="font-size: small;"><b><span style="color: #0b5394;">sa</span></b><span style="font-size: small;"> and <b><span style="color: red;">E</span></b><span style="font-size: small;"><b><span style="color: red;">ric</span></b> and <b><span style="color: orange;">Kim</span></b> and<b><span style="font-size: small;"> <span style="color: #e06666;">C<span style="font-size: small;">hristina</span></span></span></b> we can go on adventures all the time. <span style="font-size: small;">I don't know wh<span style="font-size: small;">y Im just restless.<span style="font-size: small;"> I<span style="font-size: small;"> <span style="font-size: small;">never <span style="font-size: small;">do anything a<span style="font-size: small;">t all. <span style="font-size: small;">The hair cut i<span style="font-size: small;">s cool. I hope fun things in life <span style="font-size: small;">start occuring.. I wan<span style="font-size: small;">t to get a job soon and a car<span style="font-size: small;"> and all that st<span style="font-size: small;">uff. We'll see. Lord <span style="font-size: small;">hel<span style="font-size: small;">p<span style="font-size: small;"> me to give <span style="font-size: small;">things to <span style="font-size: small;">you more often.<span style="font-size: small;"> I do need you.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span>juuune;http://www.blogger.com/profile/16074164109686488954noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2518545919833683746.post-51253326019868528552012-11-14T18:07:00.001-08:002012-11-14T18:07:05.529-08:00I wanna be a flower<br />
Not a dirty weed<br />
And I wanna smell<br />
Like roses<br />
Not a baseball team<br />
And I swear<br />
Maybe one day<br />
You're gonna<br />
Wanna make out<br />
Make out, make out<br />
With mejuuune;http://www.blogger.com/profile/16074164109686488954noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2518545919833683746.post-18314382465576540612012-11-07T21:57:00.002-08:002012-11-07T21:57:44.301-08:00I NEED TO LEAVESometimes I feel trapped here at Vanguard. Here in costa mesa, here in california. (So typical of a teen huh) Well it just dawned on me: I need to get out. I need change. I need to study abroad and I've always known that but I just know i need it more than ever now. And i need to be closer to God this is hard for me right now.juuune;http://www.blogger.com/profile/16074164109686488954noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2518545919833683746.post-51871476420775665612012-11-06T09:17:00.003-08:002012-11-06T09:17:22.469-08:00Obama Vs. RomneyToday is the election and I'm old enough to vote now & im registered and everything! but I don't know anything about either guys. This stinks..the outcome of this election will directly affect my generation and I don't care if people say its not that big a deal or tell me to chill out because this IS a big deal. It determines the future of our nation. As did many other elections but in this economic state that were in, like....we need to step things up. Who knows what can happen to us. I haven't the slightest idea who is going to win this election. Perhaps Obama based on popular vote but I heard he didn't do so well. All I can do write now is pray for both candidates and that God allows His plan to fall into action. That is enough. <br />Presidential Election 2012<br />
<span style="color: #0b5394;">Barack Obama</span> Vs. <span style="color: red;">Mitt Romney</span><br />
<i>This is history in the making</i> <i>& I am part of it</i>. juuune;http://www.blogger.com/profile/16074164109686488954noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2518545919833683746.post-76255249755870291612012-11-05T22:18:00.002-08:002012-11-05T22:18:29.254-08:00I AM SUCH A DRAMA QUEEN <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh05hUkZ0yMzhG4w8SYN9EOxh4zBNtyUZMZItznvNPZh18NIc2TdgojXA1QmeENmQ7d92Miy_WiuHWgndLrMkRZGJbVy5J-ADlPWzoILiyjH5s-fQqCMB1fSF7HBAY9qh0ZTYgchxVEn1w/s1600/hartman+is+the+best.PNG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="127" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh05hUkZ0yMzhG4w8SYN9EOxh4zBNtyUZMZItznvNPZh18NIc2TdgojXA1QmeENmQ7d92Miy_WiuHWgndLrMkRZGJbVy5J-ADlPWzoILiyjH5s-fQqCMB1fSF7HBAY9qh0ZTYgchxVEn1w/s400/hartman+is+the+best.PNG" width="400" /></a></div>
He just posted this..I have issues :(<br />Need counseling. juuune;http://www.blogger.com/profile/16074164109686488954noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2518545919833683746.post-59145335432902757552012-11-05T22:14:00.001-08:002012-11-05T22:14:49.126-08:00Im so sad right now. The world sucks <http: amanpour.blogs.cnn.com="amanpour.blogs.cnn.com" year-old-girl-married-to-40-year-old-man="year-old-girl-married-to-40-year-old-man"> and I'm sad because Mr. Hartman said "OXOXO" on Ravens wall. Its so silly to say but I feel like she has taken my place in his heart. Or filled a big place like she is better or cooler than me. I suck. I don't want to be in college anymore. It makes me sad to see that because she gets to see him all the time its not fair. I feel like this attachment to him because he has done so much for me. It just not fair. I want him to talk to me. I feel like I always have to talk to him. Im just sad and this blogging crap doesn't make me feel any better. I just feel sucky and I have homework and studying so I feel screwed too. I want to go away from here and relax for a whole week and be a photojournalist. What if im not suppose to be an art therapist becasuse I suck at art? what am I suppose to do. (GIVE IT TO GOD) thats so hard right now for me idk why. I just am so sad. </http:>juuune;http://www.blogger.com/profile/16074164109686488954noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2518545919833683746.post-14098063654717199872012-10-28T23:23:00.001-07:002012-10-28T23:23:10.649-07:00wowIm studying for Psych and for some reason this thought dawned on me: I miss the way things use to be. I know everyone says stuff like that but I was just thinking I'm an adult now. I have to make my own decisions, I study and I'll have focus. My dad and step mom recently divorced and I just thought about that and how I'm not a little kid anymore. I can't go over there every other weekend and bake with Beth or play with Ashley or watch T.V carelessly. Or swim in the pool whenever I wanted. I just realized there is so much I need to start caring about now that I'm older. I truly wish that I could go back to the way my life was before they divorced and before I started college or senior year. It makes me sad to think of these things because I enjoyed my time over there even if Lorena didn't really like going. I did. I liked it there. It felt like home and its something so familiar to me that was taken away by the divorce and by adulthood. It was so simply back then and easy and happy even in the times when I was sad. I had that.<br />
<br />David passed away today. I feel I should recognized this. He was a special man, Im not sure what was wrong with him but he was like a child. So young and naive. (He had a mental condition). He was hit by a car in front of Eduardos and its really upsetting to think about that. His body lying in the road as his family stood on the sidelines unable to speak to their brother and son anymore. I cried a little bit and I know it was hard on my mom because although it would bother her to go out to dinner with him sometimes I know she enjoyed spending time with him. And I know its hurting her too. David was the brother of her best friend so I could imagine how that would hit home. I pray for the Cortez Family. Bring them healing in this moment Lord. I pray that you heal their hearts and remind them that you will take care of them and to rejoice that David is in heaven. I don't want to take my life for granted. juuune;http://www.blogger.com/profile/16074164109686488954noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2518545919833683746.post-74266846550708691202012-10-28T21:04:00.001-07:002012-10-28T21:04:43.728-07:00shes so coolI wish I was cool. I look at Christina (my older sister) and think that she is just so cool and I want to be just like her. But I don't want to feel this way. I have bigger plans then to worry about stuff like that. God made me different and I need to believe and know that I am cool in his eyes and I don't have to be cool in anyone elses eyes. I just have to be seen as the Lords daughter. Its just I look at her tumblr <i><b>(http://satellliteheart.tumblr.com/)</b></i> and everything is just so cool and she is so pretty and I feel like this every time I see her tumblr. I should stop looking at it if it makes me feel that way but sometimes I can't help it. I want my face to be clear and my belly to be flat and to feel pretty and cool like she is. Im suppose to be studying for Psych and New Testament. I hope I get good grades on both my exams. Im shooting for an A!. Im also suppose to be worrying about this dang paper for my favorite english class so Im aiming for an A in that as well. Anyways the point being, I want to feel cool but I don't want these feelings...wonderful.<br />
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/rantjuuune;http://www.blogger.com/profile/16074164109686488954noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2518545919833683746.post-35801609577712801132012-10-20T21:15:00.001-07:002012-10-20T21:15:08.784-07:00I never feel like posting anymore...I'm still alive though. Just letting ya know. juuune;http://www.blogger.com/profile/16074164109686488954noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2518545919833683746.post-10924554058462174392012-10-08T21:34:00.000-07:002012-10-08T21:34:56.190-07:00ProcrastinationMen, can you believe it! I'm old enough to say MEN suck not boys..because I'm in college now haha. Well the purpose of this post isn't to say boys suck. There is this one guy that goes here to my school who shall remain nameless on account of I don't even really know much about him. I met him once but Im not entirely sure if he remembers me. Well anyway, that doesn't matter. What matters is that I want to give it to the Lord. I've told Him countless times to take it out of my hands and I think he has. The next man I date I want to be my husband and I'm no where near ready to be married. So of course I want to be friends first. And that's all I want right now from this kid anyways..friendship...but I've already established liking to him so it would a friendship with a crush except maybe if I got to know him I might not like him anymore like that at least. I'm just praying for my mind to not be consumed or focused with where he is or what hes doing. Or even the way I look..in case I see him Because I don't care what he thinks. Well I shouldn't. So we'll see. I want to write in my college journal right now but I need to write my <span style="font-size: large;">STUPID ESSAY THAT I DON'T WANT TO WRITE</span>. <span style="font-size: small;">I probably should start it soon though...due Thursday! But I don't</span> want to be up late on Wednesday stressing. I'd rather do that tonight. <br /><br />I'm really into Katy Perry right now I love her. "Not like the movies" is what im listening to and currently in like with. Okay byejuuune;http://www.blogger.com/profile/16074164109686488954noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2518545919833683746.post-22444701766340487272012-10-02T15:48:00.001-07:002012-10-02T15:48:19.935-07:00Pink<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhWvSLnU1AjWS9_t6ph5X-mGXAjWMkXF7iVw0S6dlcWXMjzRoz5n6vy807rTNkJ9uaGQPBLxJ12M1iANK9aR5T9vuA3VI8bQbKgEhcqsC9-4WRH19UMBZk0-H_f0eQYuuvM-XKaHa4ETK4/s1600/my+pink+hair.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhWvSLnU1AjWS9_t6ph5X-mGXAjWMkXF7iVw0S6dlcWXMjzRoz5n6vy807rTNkJ9uaGQPBLxJ12M1iANK9aR5T9vuA3VI8bQbKgEhcqsC9-4WRH19UMBZk0-H_f0eQYuuvM-XKaHa4ETK4/s400/my+pink+hair.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
SEE, I dyed it! It looks better right now because you can actually tell that there is purple at the bottom (whereas this picture you can't really tell that much.) <br /><br />I'm in the library, and I'm suppose to be studying but instead I'm listening to music. I can probably do both at the same time but I'm giving myself til 4 start. Its 3:43 pm right now. So I haven't really seen that boy that I mentioned around and I'm trying not to think about it because really...I don't even know him. Its so ridiculous but he truly is adorable and cute and stuff. I've been praying that my mind isn't consumed with it. How funny that somethings don't change...still thinking about a boy. But I don't need one haha I just so happen to be posting when this part of my life is occurring. I'm totally okay with not having a boy in my life. In fact, I want to marry the next boy that I date...well preferably and I am NOT ready for that at all yet. So friends is completely fine by me. I love college so far. I just need to keep myself immersed in my studies and not get distracted easily by boys and friends and things of that nature. juuune;http://www.blogger.com/profile/16074164109686488954noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2518545919833683746.post-52581487200952902612012-10-02T00:49:00.000-07:002012-10-02T00:49:32.824-07:002012Guess what, I'm in college! I know right, I've super grown up from the girl who was posting in this blog two years ago. <span style="font-size: large;">THIS IS CRAZY.<span style="font-size: small;"> I found this blog a couple of days ago and I thought I might want to keep going. Update were I've been lately. I was using tumble for a while (barbarajune.tumblr.com) </span></span>but I kind of prefer this because I can play with the <span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span style="font-size: large;">fonts </span></span>and <b><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="color: red;">C<span style="color: orange;">o<span style="color: yellow;">l<span style="color: lime;">o<span style="color: blue;">r<span style="color: purple;">s</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></b> which is pretty awesome. And here I can express my feelings without worrying that anyone I know will actually read this. There are no followers like on tumblr and that is also awesome. <br /><br />Lets see, well I am a freshman Vanguard University. I live on the fourth floor along with Jackie Kong, Aminee Hector, Stephanie Mata, Lauren Bostic, and my roommates names are Valentina Cueto and Melanie Parker. I dyed (ombree'd) my hair pink and purple; I'll post a picture later. I ended up transfering to JFKMCHS my junior year instead of Cenntenial which was the best decision ever because I looooved it there. I don't have a boy friend but I am interested in someone here who is a sophomore and is very cute. My relationship with the Lord has significantly evovled and grown over the past two years which is amazing and seeing my old posts is really funny to me. I love my little sister Maya, she is so great and funny. She has grown up a bit and I don't think I've yet to mention her in this blog. Im suppose to be reading Aristotle and analyzing him but I'm not. <br />I will start posting more often though. It might be really good for me.<br />
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til next time!juuune;http://www.blogger.com/profile/16074164109686488954noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2518545919833683746.post-5636879613960856912010-02-27T18:47:00.000-08:002010-02-27T19:14:06.088-08:00Mind Boggling;Perplexing even. Inexplicably unfathomable.<br />Oh, relationships & <i>love</i>..that is. I simply cannot wrap my mind around it. People want it all the time yet it hurts like hell. They take the biggest risks to get it. Take the longest jumps even if it means they're going to fall. How many times can one person fall though?<br />How many times can one person search and find then fail? Search..and find..then fail.<br /><br />& then there are those who are seen as "just a friend" in all the eye's of those who you see as more but your to scared to make a move. To scared you'll come off as "obvious" then they end up not feeling the same. Its hard, you know?<br /><br />I hope that I find somethin' like that. You know..like they have in the movies?<br />A knocks-the-socks-of-my-feet kinda love.<br />VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV<br />If you take me on a date to ikeaa & have fun with me, then that'd be just..<i>the best thing.</i><br />:)juuune;http://www.blogger.com/profile/16074164109686488954noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2518545919833683746.post-81276143216809648302010-02-22T20:29:00.000-08:002010-02-22T20:47:07.855-08:00Mm.Today was interesting. My mood fluctuated alll day. I was up, then down, then up, then down & (thankfully) up. It was the little things really that kept me in the fog but for the most part it was fine.<br /><br />So, usually I'm the QUEEN of acting like everythings all normal & casual at the things people usually tend to think are weird or uncomfortable but today & even for maybe the past couple weeks i've been tired of acting so nonchalantly about things that, at least, I feel should be addresssd. Its like the elephant in the room; everyone knows its there but no one actually acknowledges that fact. I just..sometimes wish I could scream at the top of my lungs "WHAT THE HELL IS YOUR PROBLEM?! I DON'T GET IT!" or..something along the lines of that anyway.<br />Buuuuut, I can't. Obviously, or else I would've already done that.<br />I wish I could say I'm happy about where I am in my life but honestly..I know it could be better. Yes, I know, its within my power to change all that. I get to choose the way I live my life but..its sometimes hard to practice what you preach. I'm trying though. I'm gettin' out there. Haha.<br />I just need change..maybe? Or a get-a-way.<br /><b><span style="font-size:130%;">I want to go to the beach</span></b>. A beach with no people (or limited amount of people at least) no shopps or cars. A beach that I could just think at, have simulating conversations with someone at, draw at. Something like that you know.<br />*sigh*<br /><br />Well..I don't really thing I have anything else to sa--WAIT I do.<br />"Each night when I go to sleep, I die. & in the morning when I wake up, I am reborn."-Ghandi<br /><br />Think about it.juuune;http://www.blogger.com/profile/16074164109686488954noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2518545919833683746.post-29268057631550898382010-02-21T23:09:00.000-08:002010-02-21T23:30:19.383-08:00Sleeepy,But I insist on filling in about today.<br /><br />So, I finally hung out with Gabby Leveratto. An old bestfrann' from back in the day. (middle school, I'm uber glad we still keep in touch) We attended the sunday service at church & from there took off to enjoy a splendid meal over at TJI Fridays. We caught each other up on our lives & filled each other in about the lastest new about boys, school, famliy. All the usually stuff you know. It was so nice to see her again, & hopefully we get the chance to do that again. Soon.<br />After that, I came home & watch <span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="color:#ff0000;">Z</span><span style="color:#ff9900;">O</span><span style="color:#ffff00;">M</span><span style="color:#33cc00;">B</span><span style="color:#000099;">I</span><span style="color:#993399;">E</span>LAND</span>. Great movie btw. Then, I made an attempt at starting all the homework that had accumulate over the weekend. I hadn't started any of it.<br /><span style="font-size:130%;"><strong>GOAL:</strong></span><br /><span style="font-size:130%;"><strong>-Stop procrastinating.</strong></span><br />& to my surprise I finished most of it! 1 point for me :)<br />Finally, concluding my day, I had a semi conversation about God with Christina. She went to her youth group thing today & was so moved by Him. I'm going to go to church with her one day and it'll be amazing.<br /><br />Currently feeling content with the way things are. I really have no reason to complain about where God is taking me right now. But then again, when should I ever complain about what He chooses to do with my life. Its all in his plan for me right?<br />The Lord knows what I need right now & he'll guide me to that if its suppose to be.<br /><span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;">So, with AAALLLL that said, goodnight</span> </span><span style="font-family:lucida grande;font-size:180%;">c:</span><br /><span style="font-size:130%;"></span><br /><span style="font-size:130%;"></span><br /><br /><small></small>juuune;http://www.blogger.com/profile/16074164109686488954noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2518545919833683746.post-48230855231614010042010-02-18T22:20:00.000-08:002010-02-18T22:33:39.618-08:00Quite alright.Things seem to be looking up at the moment.<br /><br />Incase you didn't already know, I've been feeling meloncholy. & the fact that I've been sick..well more that my body's just been exhusted doesn't make anything any better. But today, after practice, I felt better. Perhaps it was due to the exercise. (releases endorphines) but who knows. I'm glad to be back. Well semi..mostly back. I'm trying to open new doors for myself & I feel like i'm succeeding...just a little if any..but its something! Some are closing though..but thats alright. When one door closes, another opens.<br /><br />Despite the fact that things are starting to turn around, I've been streessed about school ! *pulls hair out* I've been missing alot lately due to mental illness :P & that is not good. I feel like i'm falling behind.<br />PULL IT TOGETHER BARBARA. You want to go to U.C Santa Barbara right?!?<br />We'll see where this goes. Hopefully up along side with mood.<br /><br />Moving on. So..my friend Brenda Mendez. She is something else.<br />She has picked herself up of the ground. Up from her past life & is now..so on fire for God its crazy. She's just soo..sure of herself & God. I'm proud of her.<br />But for some reason I can't help but feel inferior to her. Not only to her though. To so many others who talk to me about Christ. Only because I'm no longer at the place they're are now. & that only pushes me farther away. Like..I feel as if they are better than me in some sort of way..as if I don't "fit in" or fit the typical "christian" role at my church anymore. I'm working on it though. I still have my own relationship with Him. I still talk to Him. Hopefully this whole prayer team thing will "open more doors" for me. Open my eye's to what i've been missing. Not only me though. Aixa too. But who knows if its even in the plan for me. <i>Only God..duh</i><br />I should be asleeep.<br /><br />I bid you ado.juuune;http://www.blogger.com/profile/16074164109686488954noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2518545919833683746.post-71345439586217891572010-02-17T16:27:00.000-08:002010-02-17T16:54:08.031-08:00Deception.Things aren't always what they appear to be. It could be that brand new commercial about "the best cup of coffee in town" right down to the peeople or friendships you thought and possible even knew to be 'trustworthy'.<br /><br />Friend; (n):<br />-A person who gives assistance when needed.<br />-Someone you can <i>trust</i><br />-Someone to share your laughs with, your feelings with, your <i>secrets</i> with.<br /><br />You that's all fine and dandy..as long as it goes both ways.<br /><small>just sayin'.</small><br />*I'm sorry If whatever I say doesn't make sense.*<br /><br />Moving on. I just, all of a sudden, had a mood change. My thoughts shifted.<br />Slightly though, so were still on topic.<br />I miss you. I miss our friendship. I miss how, with out knowing or even trying, you got me. There was a certain flow to us, you know. It just fit. Well..in my opinion. Something happened though. We don't speak as often.<br />I wish I could just talk to you. & I wish I could just talk to someone about you with sounding cliche. You were bold. Courageous. Funloving. Carefree. & you were myfriend. There was no pretending. I felt completely comfortable when I was around you. Thats something that was sort of a shock to me too but I loved that the most. They way you thought. They way your mind worked fasinated me. & still does. So deep, so just..interesting, I guess. But things are different now.<br /><br />Moral of the story kids: Things change & people aren't always who they say they are to you. Trust is a hard thing to come by. & when you've got it don't betray it.<br /><br />You prolly think you know who i'm talking about but your prolly way off.<br /><br />end.juuune;http://www.blogger.com/profile/16074164109686488954noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2518545919833683746.post-750570930181291692010-02-17T12:21:00.000-08:002010-02-17T12:55:50.724-08:00Good times<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh1a4ulGVpk22RUmNVu059LwYFQ17HjUAktnMivjZw3WlzVYKwFyPruo-OO7dQXV71xw56tPO6SjSPdBhQ4FNvek2VpxWuWQLrqzm019KMNoSJpry3sBEUWBLxvCkdNUBQz3C_tKQL7aqw/s1600-h/saggy.jpg"><img style="MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 275px; FLOAT: left; HEIGHT: 178px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5439312126775568578" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh1a4ulGVpk22RUmNVu059LwYFQ17HjUAktnMivjZw3WlzVYKwFyPruo-OO7dQXV71xw56tPO6SjSPdBhQ4FNvek2VpxWuWQLrqzm019KMNoSJpry3sBEUWBLxvCkdNUBQz3C_tKQL7aqw/s320/saggy.jpg" /></a>This, right here, is prolly what I miss most about my past. <div>How close we all were. How we just automatically knew where our weekends would be spent & with who they'd be spent with. How we'd all take stupid pictures & videos. How they always just <i>knew</i>. I've managed to maintain a bestfriendship with the young lady in the middle, Jackie Kong & Aixa Correa! (who is not in the picture) but Kimberly & I well..were still bestfriends but we've drifted apart. Even Jackie would have to agree that its..not the same. I haven't spent time with Kim at all since the new year. We hardly even speak anymore :/ Its gotten to the point where I don't even know what she looks like now -__- Pretty sad, I know. Of course, our schedules have gotten in the way of our hanging out and what not but really, thats not excuse cause i'm sure we could find time. I've built some new bestfriendships over here at my school though & <b>I love them to bits and pieces</b> but I just really miss this..miss <i>us</i>. Is that really so bad? I think it's partly because we've all changed in some little way or another. Some good changes..& some not so good changes but thats who we are now & there's really nothing we can do (well change ourselves back but I highly doubt thats something we can just <i>do</i>.) </div><div>[Everythings: 'o7-Foreve]</div><div></div><div><br /></div><div></div>juuune;http://www.blogger.com/profile/16074164109686488954noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2518545919833683746.post-64129405988454312012010-02-16T19:20:00.000-08:002010-02-16T19:34:27.083-08:00Hi There.So, this is my first blog of 2010. & hopefully, many more follow. I've somehow failed to conjure up the willingness to even get on the computer and type, but I want my thoughts and opinions to be out in the open! I think its time I took my place in the world. Make a change. Even if its just a little. Either change it with my actions or simply with these words. Change one person's life, or a million lives. As long as I was able to make the process call <span style="font-size:180%;">life </span><span style="font-size:100%;">more enjoyable and unforgettable for anyone before we leave to our rightful home. Thats my dream. Your prolly thinking "Gee, such big aspirations for such a young girl." Well yes, I am young, but i'm not gonna let something as small as age or maturity levels hinder my determination to continuing my expedition to--where ever it is i'm going or what ever it is i'm doing. </span><br /><br />Slowly but surely, people will begin to see things in a more postitve light. Things will begin to mold together & fall into place. As long as you will it to, of course.<br />You know why all that will happen? Cause I have <em>faith.</em> Some people should start obtaining a little more of that. Yes.<br /><br />[.Likeme.Loveme.Hateme.]<br /><strong>you choose.</strong>juuune;http://www.blogger.com/profile/16074164109686488954noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2518545919833683746.post-11907547168975472952009-09-20T17:09:00.000-07:002009-09-20T17:24:14.628-07:00Hmm;<span style="font-family:lucida grande;">I haven't blogged in quite a while. </span><br /><span style="font-family:lucida grande;"><strong>Update:</strong> Over all things have been going very well. School wise. Friend wise. & now boy wise! I just recently found out some information that makes me very happy :) but to soon to release any details. Jackie thinks I get excited to easily. & perhaps I do, but i find it makes life more enjoyable. Rather than containing all your emotions in a box, show them to the world. Express them for yourself. Laughing. Squealing. Its a part of my life. & look; things couldn't (well the could but no biggie) be better! You see, I do get excited over little things but I know how to not let it hurt me in the long run if whatever i got excited over dissapoints me. I can back down as easily as i got up. I just choose not too. Keep moving forward. What happens happens. & what happened happened. Right? </span><br /><span style="font-family:lucida grande;">I'm just happy with how God is using my life & everything that He's doing in it. Its wonderful to be back. </span><br /><span style="font-family:lucida grande;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:lucida grande;">I got a hair cut. & I actually don't hate this one, haha. I'm changing my outlook on life & myself. Trying to let go of all my inabitions. My fears. Its hard, & I know for a fact I haven't had much success..yet that is. Its a workin' progress alright. People can't really help in that area of my life though. I tend not to listen to anyone. Very VERY stubborn person here. but i'm workin' on that as well..kinda. I'm just looking up and looking forward. </span><br /><span style="font-family:lucida grande;">Special thanks: GOD</span>juuune;http://www.blogger.com/profile/16074164109686488954noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2518545919833683746.post-90493603459254445452009-08-21T16:53:00.000-07:002009-08-21T17:04:20.253-07:00simpler times?hmm, remember the good 'ol days? playing in the park with some girl or boy that you have no memory of yet you two we're the best of friends that fine afternoon. or eating icecream by the curb with your sister or brother. not worrying about boys, or school, or the common struggles in the teenage life. <i>goodtimes</i><br />you know, the world is a playground. & somewhere along our way to adulthood..we forget that.<br />things we're so simple when i was five or even ten. i was friends with that random kid at the park, & now i feel..alone? whats that all about, huh? Lonliness. no one should EVER have to put through such a state of hardship. 'Your not alone, hun. you have us' well, then why do i feel like like i have no one to talk to. To share my faults with or someone to get excited with me.? I know i do. i'm sure this is just a phase..darn phases. but it all just hit me wednsday. all of it, at once. but what hurts is the person or people i need to talk to the most..aren't there. they're just not. Either they haven't called. or they've just..changed. they're not capable of listening through it all and actually feeling remorse. or trying to assist me. HA i don't even know how i ended up talking about lonlieness when i started out at a no worry life as a child :P I don't feel like that as much. I got my chance to talk it all out and have some one <i>actually</i> listen for once instead of soemone telling me to shutup. i feel better. & who do i have to thank for that?<br /><b>God</b>juuune;http://www.blogger.com/profile/16074164109686488954noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2518545919833683746.post-21831265537453915072009-07-20T01:25:00.000-07:002009-07-20T01:47:20.242-07:00lets see.well, i was baptized on wednsday:)<br />actually alot of people did, 30k//30days. Thirty acts of love in thirty days. its a beautiful thing actaully. Doesnt matter if your christian or not.<br /><big>SHOW LOVE. DO WORK.<3</big><br />its so complicated though. i was catholic & now i'm..christian. i still have to get use to the idea. i mean i was catholic ALL MY LIFE till last wedndsay. i feel..bad kidna. like i betrayed my religon & my mom too. blehh, God will helpā„<br />i don't feel that bad thouggh. it was meant to happen. i asked God to call on me that night, show me something that would just break me & guess what? he did.<br /><br />side note: respect your parents. let them know how much you love them.<br />if your dad or mom does everything for you. everything thing she or he could do to make you happy & your friends happy *buyying them foood, drinks, movie tickets* then at least <span style="font-style: italic;">love him. </span><span>He or she deserves that much.<br />its hard to witness something like that first hand. he treats her & us to food, starbucks, movies, everything.! & what does he get in return "psh i don't love him!" <--daughter<br />seriously, C'mon on. he's trying so hard but all you do is push him away.<br />i dunno, i just feel bad because he is a freakin' fantastic father. thats all i'm sayin.<br /><br />goodnight.<br /></span>juuune;http://www.blogger.com/profile/16074164109686488954noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2518545919833683746.post-31899810565206088072009-06-26T14:44:00.000-07:002009-06-26T14:53:07.081-07:00strongergirls: don't let a silly little boy run your life. seriously?<br />have some more self respect..know that your stronger than that & your deserve way better than what you were prolly given.<br />its hard not to believe everything he said to you isnt true anymore..i know; but it happened & thats all that counts. <br />don't look back on what you had and cry because its gone, but smile at all the good times you did have & keep loving & living your life the way you deserve to. <br />if you want to call your ex 20 times a day when he clearly wants nothing to do with you, then thats how you know you need help. <br />you most likely won't listen to your friends..your gonna do what you wanna do. but just know your way better than that. to let him constantly be in your mind when the relationship is over. to let him not allow you to just be happy..<br />its not fair. to you, or even to him. he may have hurt you but you need to forgive him because once you do that, he no longer has control over you or your life. thats really the first step to moving on. & it just gets better from there. <br />its gonna be hard..like really hard. but its possible. you don't wannna be in this..rut for your whole life, do you?<br />everyone deserves to be happy :)<br /><br />yeah, uhm i was on a roll, i guess ^^^^^^<br />hahah :P<br /><br />i'm chillin' with my dad at his work..so blogg some more later!<br /><3juuune;http://www.blogger.com/profile/16074164109686488954noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2518545919833683746.post-66649915320304593592009-06-25T11:03:00.000-07:002009-06-25T11:38:52.259-07:00fact.why do girls always read into things? do we feel that we might find some sign of good new or possibley bad new. the lyrics of songs on their profile or they favorite playlists cannot mean anything..right?<br />see, there i go reading into things. its just not..fair. to just walk in & out of my life so many times. your out now, & i think its for sure, but who knows..maybe you'll change your mind again.! but who's hoping for that!? :|<br /><small>not me *sarcastic voice*</small><br /><br />i could totally live without this, because i sure as heck deserve to but i don't want to let go yet. i keep thinking, there's still a chance..which in reality there might not be. what are you afraid of, if you are afriad of anything that is? <br />"maturity" isnt the problem..your afraid. of what? i have no clue..maybe its to fall harder..or to not fall at all then just walk away from it; again.<br />this may be old news but there are little things that you do to make me have faith or hope agian. i dunoo i'm done haha..<br />just needed to get that out !<br /><br />adios; :)juuune;http://www.blogger.com/profile/16074164109686488954noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2518545919833683746.post-91440674110789670602009-06-24T10:25:00.001-07:002009-06-24T10:43:07.503-07:00guilt.what is it exactly? your conscience telling you that you've done something wrong..& to admit it? although it may not nessecarily be wrong, just the fact that you lied about doing what ever it is you did to your mom, your aunt, your bestfriend. <br /><br />i don't regret it. i mean i would've gone through with it eventually, i just wish i gone about it more wisely! <br />i guess i'm just afraid of getting caught by my mother. i mean she trusts me so much.<br />this will definetly dissapoint her:/ i'll tell her..eventually. & yes i'm still a virgin!<br />but for now i'm living. & i'm not looking back. i did it& i'm proud of myself.<br />because, me! doing..that? yeah thats not hypocritical or odd *in sacastic voice*<br />but over the course of two weeks, i've learned alot about myself, & about what God has in store for me. all the struggles he puts me through is for a reason. its to open my eyes & forget about all my material things, & about what people think of me! its about what He thinks of me. what My God thinks of me; because thats all that really matters. i live and have been living my life for Him. yeah i mess up, i make mistakes but i don't consider what i did a mistake..God was guiding me towards that choice to help me realize all the ways i've been neglecting the people that should mean the most to me. <br />Thank you Father God,<3 & i'm sorry mom.juuune;http://www.blogger.com/profile/16074164109686488954noreply@blogger.com