I haven't blogged in quite a while.
Update: Over all things have been going very well. School wise. Friend wise. & now boy wise! I just recently found out some information that makes me very happy :) but to soon to release any details. Jackie thinks I get excited to easily. & perhaps I do, but i find it makes life more enjoyable. Rather than containing all your emotions in a box, show them to the world. Express them for yourself. Laughing. Squealing. Its a part of my life. & look; things couldn't (well the could but no biggie) be better! You see, I do get excited over little things but I know how to not let it hurt me in the long run if whatever i got excited over dissapoints me. I can back down as easily as i got up. I just choose not too. Keep moving forward. What happens happens. & what happened happened. Right?
I'm just happy with how God is using my life & everything that He's doing in it. Its wonderful to be back.
I got a hair cut. & I actually don't hate this one, haha. I'm changing my outlook on life & myself. Trying to let go of all my inabitions. My fears. Its hard, & I know for a fact I haven't had much success..yet that is. Its a workin' progress alright. People can't really help in that area of my life though. I tend not to listen to anyone. Very VERY stubborn person here. but i'm workin' on that as well..kinda. I'm just looking up and looking forward.
Special thanks: GOD
September 20, 2009
August 21, 2009
simpler times?
hmm, remember the good 'ol days? playing in the park with some girl or boy that you have no memory of yet you two we're the best of friends that fine afternoon. or eating icecream by the curb with your sister or brother. not worrying about boys, or school, or the common struggles in the teenage life. goodtimes
you know, the world is a playground. & somewhere along our way to adulthood..we forget that.
things we're so simple when i was five or even ten. i was friends with that random kid at the park, & now i feel..alone? whats that all about, huh? Lonliness. no one should EVER have to put through such a state of hardship. 'Your not alone, hun. you have us' well, then why do i feel like like i have no one to talk to. To share my faults with or someone to get excited with me.? I know i do. i'm sure this is just a phase..darn phases. but it all just hit me wednsday. all of it, at once. but what hurts is the person or people i need to talk to the most..aren't there. they're just not. Either they haven't called. or they've just..changed. they're not capable of listening through it all and actually feeling remorse. or trying to assist me. HA i don't even know how i ended up talking about lonlieness when i started out at a no worry life as a child :P I don't feel like that as much. I got my chance to talk it all out and have some one actually listen for once instead of soemone telling me to shutup. i feel better. & who do i have to thank for that?
God
you know, the world is a playground. & somewhere along our way to adulthood..we forget that.
things we're so simple when i was five or even ten. i was friends with that random kid at the park, & now i feel..alone? whats that all about, huh? Lonliness. no one should EVER have to put through such a state of hardship. 'Your not alone, hun. you have us' well, then why do i feel like like i have no one to talk to. To share my faults with or someone to get excited with me.? I know i do. i'm sure this is just a phase..darn phases. but it all just hit me wednsday. all of it, at once. but what hurts is the person or people i need to talk to the most..aren't there. they're just not. Either they haven't called. or they've just..changed. they're not capable of listening through it all and actually feeling remorse. or trying to assist me. HA i don't even know how i ended up talking about lonlieness when i started out at a no worry life as a child :P I don't feel like that as much. I got my chance to talk it all out and have some one actually listen for once instead of soemone telling me to shutup. i feel better. & who do i have to thank for that?
God
July 20, 2009
lets see.
well, i was baptized on wednsday:)
actually alot of people did, 30k//30days. Thirty acts of love in thirty days. its a beautiful thing actaully. Doesnt matter if your christian or not.
SHOW LOVE. DO WORK.<3
its so complicated though. i was catholic & now i'm..christian. i still have to get use to the idea. i mean i was catholic ALL MY LIFE till last wedndsay. i feel..bad kidna. like i betrayed my religon & my mom too. blehh, God will help♥
i don't feel that bad thouggh. it was meant to happen. i asked God to call on me that night, show me something that would just break me & guess what? he did.
side note: respect your parents. let them know how much you love them.
if your dad or mom does everything for you. everything thing she or he could do to make you happy & your friends happy *buyying them foood, drinks, movie tickets* then at least love him. He or she deserves that much.
its hard to witness something like that first hand. he treats her & us to food, starbucks, movies, everything.! & what does he get in return "psh i don't love him!" <--daughter
seriously, C'mon on. he's trying so hard but all you do is push him away.
i dunno, i just feel bad because he is a freakin' fantastic father. thats all i'm sayin.
goodnight.
actually alot of people did, 30k//30days. Thirty acts of love in thirty days. its a beautiful thing actaully. Doesnt matter if your christian or not.
SHOW LOVE. DO WORK.<3
its so complicated though. i was catholic & now i'm..christian. i still have to get use to the idea. i mean i was catholic ALL MY LIFE till last wedndsay. i feel..bad kidna. like i betrayed my religon & my mom too. blehh, God will help♥
i don't feel that bad thouggh. it was meant to happen. i asked God to call on me that night, show me something that would just break me & guess what? he did.
side note: respect your parents. let them know how much you love them.
if your dad or mom does everything for you. everything thing she or he could do to make you happy & your friends happy *buyying them foood, drinks, movie tickets* then at least love him. He or she deserves that much.
its hard to witness something like that first hand. he treats her & us to food, starbucks, movies, everything.! & what does he get in return "psh i don't love him!" <--daughter
seriously, C'mon on. he's trying so hard but all you do is push him away.
i dunno, i just feel bad because he is a freakin' fantastic father. thats all i'm sayin.
goodnight.
June 26, 2009
stronger
girls: don't let a silly little boy run your life. seriously?
have some more self respect..know that your stronger than that & your deserve way better than what you were prolly given.
its hard not to believe everything he said to you isnt true anymore..i know; but it happened & thats all that counts.
don't look back on what you had and cry because its gone, but smile at all the good times you did have & keep loving & living your life the way you deserve to.
if you want to call your ex 20 times a day when he clearly wants nothing to do with you, then thats how you know you need help.
you most likely won't listen to your friends..your gonna do what you wanna do. but just know your way better than that. to let him constantly be in your mind when the relationship is over. to let him not allow you to just be happy..
its not fair. to you, or even to him. he may have hurt you but you need to forgive him because once you do that, he no longer has control over you or your life. thats really the first step to moving on. & it just gets better from there.
its gonna be hard..like really hard. but its possible. you don't wannna be in this..rut for your whole life, do you?
everyone deserves to be happy :)
yeah, uhm i was on a roll, i guess ^^^^^^
hahah :P
i'm chillin' with my dad at his work..so blogg some more later!
<3
have some more self respect..know that your stronger than that & your deserve way better than what you were prolly given.
its hard not to believe everything he said to you isnt true anymore..i know; but it happened & thats all that counts.
don't look back on what you had and cry because its gone, but smile at all the good times you did have & keep loving & living your life the way you deserve to.
if you want to call your ex 20 times a day when he clearly wants nothing to do with you, then thats how you know you need help.
you most likely won't listen to your friends..your gonna do what you wanna do. but just know your way better than that. to let him constantly be in your mind when the relationship is over. to let him not allow you to just be happy..
its not fair. to you, or even to him. he may have hurt you but you need to forgive him because once you do that, he no longer has control over you or your life. thats really the first step to moving on. & it just gets better from there.
its gonna be hard..like really hard. but its possible. you don't wannna be in this..rut for your whole life, do you?
everyone deserves to be happy :)
yeah, uhm i was on a roll, i guess ^^^^^^
hahah :P
i'm chillin' with my dad at his work..so blogg some more later!
<3
June 25, 2009
fact.
why do girls always read into things? do we feel that we might find some sign of good new or possibley bad new. the lyrics of songs on their profile or they favorite playlists cannot mean anything..right?
see, there i go reading into things. its just not..fair. to just walk in & out of my life so many times. your out now, & i think its for sure, but who knows..maybe you'll change your mind again.! but who's hoping for that!? :|
not me *sarcastic voice*
i could totally live without this, because i sure as heck deserve to but i don't want to let go yet. i keep thinking, there's still a chance..which in reality there might not be. what are you afraid of, if you are afriad of anything that is?
"maturity" isnt the problem..your afraid. of what? i have no clue..maybe its to fall harder..or to not fall at all then just walk away from it; again.
this may be old news but there are little things that you do to make me have faith or hope agian. i dunoo i'm done haha..
just needed to get that out !
adios; :)
see, there i go reading into things. its just not..fair. to just walk in & out of my life so many times. your out now, & i think its for sure, but who knows..maybe you'll change your mind again.! but who's hoping for that!? :|
not me *sarcastic voice*
i could totally live without this, because i sure as heck deserve to but i don't want to let go yet. i keep thinking, there's still a chance..which in reality there might not be. what are you afraid of, if you are afriad of anything that is?
"maturity" isnt the problem..your afraid. of what? i have no clue..maybe its to fall harder..or to not fall at all then just walk away from it; again.
this may be old news but there are little things that you do to make me have faith or hope agian. i dunoo i'm done haha..
just needed to get that out !
adios; :)
June 24, 2009
guilt.
what is it exactly? your conscience telling you that you've done something wrong..& to admit it? although it may not nessecarily be wrong, just the fact that you lied about doing what ever it is you did to your mom, your aunt, your bestfriend.
i don't regret it. i mean i would've gone through with it eventually, i just wish i gone about it more wisely!
i guess i'm just afraid of getting caught by my mother. i mean she trusts me so much.
this will definetly dissapoint her:/ i'll tell her..eventually. & yes i'm still a virgin!
but for now i'm living. & i'm not looking back. i did it& i'm proud of myself.
because, me! doing..that? yeah thats not hypocritical or odd *in sacastic voice*
but over the course of two weeks, i've learned alot about myself, & about what God has in store for me. all the struggles he puts me through is for a reason. its to open my eyes & forget about all my material things, & about what people think of me! its about what He thinks of me. what My God thinks of me; because thats all that really matters. i live and have been living my life for Him. yeah i mess up, i make mistakes but i don't consider what i did a mistake..God was guiding me towards that choice to help me realize all the ways i've been neglecting the people that should mean the most to me.
Thank you Father God,<3 & i'm sorry mom.
i don't regret it. i mean i would've gone through with it eventually, i just wish i gone about it more wisely!
i guess i'm just afraid of getting caught by my mother. i mean she trusts me so much.
this will definetly dissapoint her:/ i'll tell her..eventually. & yes i'm still a virgin!
but for now i'm living. & i'm not looking back. i did it& i'm proud of myself.
because, me! doing..that? yeah thats not hypocritical or odd *in sacastic voice*
but over the course of two weeks, i've learned alot about myself, & about what God has in store for me. all the struggles he puts me through is for a reason. its to open my eyes & forget about all my material things, & about what people think of me! its about what He thinks of me. what My God thinks of me; because thats all that really matters. i live and have been living my life for Him. yeah i mess up, i make mistakes but i don't consider what i did a mistake..God was guiding me towards that choice to help me realize all the ways i've been neglecting the people that should mean the most to me.
Thank you Father God,<3 & i'm sorry mom.
June 13, 2009
boysboysboys;
whoa, i haven't blogged ina while! sorry about that. here's the updates:
-i finished finasl
-schools out :D
-blank & i are over...i thinkk? *you should know who blank is btw* (well he never told me but i'm pretty sure it is)
well lets talk about boys. *sigh* when will they learn? its not fair to girls that they get to just pull the plug! well we do to, but not in some situations. at least have the balls to TELL us its over! haha don't just WAIT 'till we find out! have some common curtisy! This has yet to affect me because i believe i'm over it already..before it actually happened. like, i've been put in the same situation over and over again that i thinhk i'm just use to it so by the time is does happen (& it WILL happen *obviously*) that i'll be ready for it! ha well yeah. i'm fine, & fit as a fiddle(:
i'll always love him<3 & he's will remain one of my best friends!
OH YEAH; i'm kinda crushing on this one guy who's name i will not reveal..yet.
okk thanks for readin', i'm out<3
-i finished finasl
-schools out :D
-blank & i are over...i thinkk? *you should know who blank is btw* (well he never told me but i'm pretty sure it is)
well lets talk about boys. *sigh* when will they learn? its not fair to girls that they get to just pull the plug! well we do to, but not in some situations. at least have the balls to TELL us its over! haha don't just WAIT 'till we find out! have some common curtisy! This has yet to affect me because i believe i'm over it already..before it actually happened. like, i've been put in the same situation over and over again that i thinhk i'm just use to it so by the time is does happen (& it WILL happen *obviously*) that i'll be ready for it! ha well yeah. i'm fine, & fit as a fiddle(:
i'll always love him<3 & he's will remain one of my best friends!
OH YEAH; i'm kinda crushing on this one guy who's name i will not reveal..yet.
okk thanks for readin', i'm out<3
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