November 19, 2012





Hmm, I need life! Ah, Im just so bored with everything I want to have adventures like I did in high school.  All my friends were so fun and awesome..not that they aren't here at Vanguard...I need to have crazy wild fun nights. That doesn't have to include drinking or doing anything stupid. Just something exciting. Thats what college is suppose to be right? This is me on my bed in more dorm room after woofest. Its 2012 and I feel bored. I want to go on break to go back home with my best friends like Aixa and Alyssa and Eric and Kim and Christina we can go on adventures all the time. I don't know why Im just restless. I never do anything at all. The hair cut is cool. I hope fun things in life start occuring.. I want to get a job soon and a car and all that stuff. We'll see. Lord help me to give things to you more often. I do need you.

November 14, 2012

I wanna be a flower
Not a dirty weed
And I wanna smell
Like roses
Not a baseball team
And I swear
Maybe one day
You're gonna
Wanna make out
Make out, make out
With me

November 07, 2012


Sometimes I feel trapped here at Vanguard. Here in costa mesa, here in california. (So typical of a teen huh) Well it just dawned on me: I need to get out. I need change. I need to study abroad and I've always known that but I just know i need it more than ever now. And i need to be closer to God this is hard for me right now.

November 06, 2012

Obama Vs. Romney

Today is the election and I'm old enough to vote now & im registered and everything! but I don't know anything about either guys. This stinks..the outcome of this election will directly affect my generation and I don't care if people say its not that big a deal or tell me to chill out because this IS a big deal. It determines the future of our nation. As did many other elections but in this economic state that were in, like....we need to step things up. Who knows what can happen to us. I haven't the slightest idea who is going to win this election. Perhaps Obama based on popular vote but I heard he didn't do so well. All I can do write now is pray for both candidates and that God allows His plan to fall into action.  That is enough.
Presidential Election 2012
Barack Obama Vs. Mitt Romney
This is history in the making & I am part of it.

November 05, 2012


He just posted this..I have issues :(
Need counseling.
Im so sad right now. The world sucks   and I'm sad because Mr. Hartman said "OXOXO" on Ravens wall. Its so silly to say but I feel like she has taken my place in his heart. Or filled a big place like she is better or cooler than me. I suck. I don't want to be in college anymore.  It makes me sad to see that because she gets to see him all the time its not fair. I feel like this attachment to him because he has done so much for me.  It just not fair.  I want him to talk to me. I feel like I always have to talk to him. Im just sad and this blogging crap doesn't make me feel any better. I just feel sucky and I have homework and studying so I feel screwed too. I want to go away from here and relax for a whole week and be a photojournalist. What if im not suppose to be an art therapist becasuse I suck at art? what am I suppose to do. (GIVE IT TO GOD) thats so hard right now for me idk why. I just am so sad.

October 28, 2012


Im studying for Psych and for some reason this thought dawned on me: I miss the way things use to be. I know everyone says stuff like that but I was just thinking I'm an adult now. I have to make my own decisions, I study and I'll have focus. My dad and step mom recently divorced and I just thought about that and how I'm not a little kid anymore.  I can't go over there every other weekend and bake with Beth or play with Ashley or watch T.V carelessly. Or swim in the pool whenever I wanted. I just realized there is so much I need to start caring about now that I'm older.  I truly wish that I could go back to the way my life was before they divorced and before I started college or senior year. It makes me sad to think of these things because I enjoyed my time over there even if Lorena didn't really like going. I did. I liked it there. It felt like home and its something so familiar to me that was taken away by the divorce and by adulthood.  It was so  simply back then and easy and happy even in the times when I was sad. I had that.

David passed away today. I feel I should recognized this. He was a special man, Im not sure what was wrong with him but he was like a child. So young and naive. (He had a mental condition). He was hit by a car in front of Eduardos and its really upsetting to think about that. His body lying in the road as his family stood on the sidelines unable to speak to their brother and son anymore.  I cried a little bit and I know it was hard on my mom because although it would bother her to go out to dinner with him sometimes I know she enjoyed spending time with him.  And I know its hurting her too. David was the brother of her best friend so I could imagine how that would hit home. I pray for the Cortez Family. Bring them healing in this moment Lord. I pray that you heal their hearts and remind them that you will take care of them and to rejoice that David is in heaven. I don't want to take my life for granted.